I wanna be with u..

I dedicated a song to him. Hope he's listening. And from the lyric, I hope he understands how much that I love him. N hopefully, our relationship will bloom always.. I wanna live a happy life with him..

Hurt again

Masih terasa sakitnya.. Asal ja ku teringat, sakit.. Makin naleh ku jadinya.. ='(

With him

Tadi aku jln sama bf ke Mall. Aku mau kami perbaiki hubungan kami atu. Walaupun aku mseh rasa sakit + tluka. I tried my best to smile. Anyway, ia belanja aku mkn di KFC, we ordered the same menu which is Snack Plate. My favourite plate.. =) I ordered yg original & he ordered yg spicy. Sekali masa ku kan abis mkn tu, baruth we realised yg ku mkn atu yg spicy, no wonder la cm padas! N also yg spicy ane lain sikit rasanya compare to the original. Leeerrr~ melepasss~ Ia plg mkn yg ori ani.. And kami jln2 dlm Mall atu. We end up buying sandals! Lain yg ku target, lain plg yg ku bali. I was targeting to buy perfume, end up buying sandals! Channeled out! At least aku rasa terhibur sikit wlaupun mseh ada rasa kecewa..

All I want is to be happy again..

Hari ke 5 sdh sejak kejadian atu.. It still hurts and it cuts deep inside my heart. I'm tired of crying and suffering. I'm not okay now.

Stratovarius - Forever

I stand alone in the darkness
The winter of my life came so fast
Memories go back to my childhood
To days I still recall

Oh how happy I was then
There was no sorrow there was no pain
Walking through the green fields
Sunshine in my eyes

I'm still there everywhere
I'm the dust in the wind
I'm the star in the northern sky
I never stayed anywhere
I'm the wind in the trees
Would you wait for me forever? 

='(

Separuh jiwaku pergi

A song can tell the whole story about me now:

Anang - Separuh jiwaku pergi

Separuh jiwaku pergi
Memang indah semua
Tapi berakhir luka
Kau main hati dengan sadarmu
Kau tinggal aku

Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati hati ini
Kau curangi aku

Kau bilang tak pernah bahagia
Selama dengan aku
Itu ucap bibirmu
Kau dustakan semua yang kita bina
Kau hancurkan semua

Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati hati ini
Kau curangi aku

Hmm.. Bila aku kn happy semula ni? Ya Tuhan~ Cemana caranya supaya aku dpt lupakan semua atu? N bila aku bnr2 dpt menikmati kebahagiaan yg sejati, yg bkn palsu..? D bwh ni gmbr2 kenangan kami.. Bjanji kn sama2 sampai nanti. Cemana tu..? Sampai kh tu nanti..? Dear bf, I cried when I look at all our pics.. Knapa ko sng2 lupakan kenangan2 tane..? Mana janji2mu? Ko buat aku kecewa cemani.. ='(

Dear bf, ingat ka semua kenangan2 tane? ='( Tane kn 5 taun dh.. Knapa ko buat aku hampa..? I wish he didn't do it that time.. I wish he knew how to appreciate me.. And how I wish kami langsung nda kenal kalau tau cemani jadinya..........

Ani hari ke-3, sakitnya masih terasa. Kenapa la airmataku ani mengalir nda beranti2.? Dear ejo, permintaanku ckit saja, ko setia arahku & jgn buat apa yg ble buat aku sedih.. Pyh ka tu? Why u easily go for other girls? ='( And now, cemana kn buat aku lupakn smua atu?

 ='(

Badly injured

Ani hari ke-2.. Mcm nightmare saja rasanya. And I cannot hold this tears mengenang nasib. Aku atu mcm nda kana hargai bah or lebih tepat g, mcm SAMPAH. U know sampah? The one yg kana buang2, yg nda dipedulikan. Pengorbananku slama ani mcm sia2. I'm confused right now. I don't know which one is true..? Bnrkh ia sayangkn aku or ia buat2 sayangkn aku saja..? Rasa mcm mau hilangkn diri dari semua urg..... Biar urg tecari2 aku psl masa aku ada, nda kna hargai. Bilaku nada, maybe bruth kana hargai... And to ejo, maybe aku bkn siapa2 utkmu.. That's why ko buat aku cemani.. ='( Will our relationship be Forever and will I be happy again..? Even now, its hard for me to post a single smile on my face.. Senyum sedikit pn ndaku dpt. Ndaku tau bila ku kan happy lagi.. Only times can heal my heart..

Aish, why me..? Apa slhku..? Canaku kan kaja krg with my eyes like this?

Kehampaanku

Today is hari yg paling mendukacitakan utkku la. I even wrote this now with millions of tears running down my cheeks. Words just can't express how sad I am right now. Ani entah kali ke berapa kedapatan bfku bkenalan sma other chicks. Ia suruh aku trust ia. I do trust him, usul saja mcm inda. Tapi dibuatnya aku cemani. I don't understand why.. Dear boyfriend, why u did this to me? Kalau ia sayangkn aku, ia ndakn buat something yg buat aku patah hati. What he did to me? Ia bkenalan sama other chicks thru Tagged. I read the inbox, ia minta emel bini2, dipanggilnya drg 'babe', ia puji drg cute la apa la. And that was 2 months ago and bln2 yg dulu lagi la. Kira baru2 jua tu kn. Idup2ku kana main2kn. And from that, I knew... I just knew that he don't love me. Entah, tepaksa x ia sama aku atu.

And aku sad jua psl I don't know whether today is the last day for me and him or not? Why do I have to go thru this hard time lagi? And to ejo, knapa ko buat aku cemani? U said u love me but why...? *speechless*

Makan 7 mulah kazenku

Tadi aku jln mkn 7 di rumah sbalah. Sejak kazenku atu meninggal, aku nda pernah dtg ke sana even the day ia meninggal atu pn nada ku bkesempatan ke sana. Ia meninggal minggu lps hari Ahad. Ngam2 isuknya assignmentku deadline, sbab tu nda ku ke sana. Aku buat assignmntku sampai kul 5 pagi, nda betiduran sal membuat coding. Masa kuburnya pn nada ku dpt dtg sal tpaksa ke skulah antar assignment ah.

Masa ku ke sana tadi, baruth ku tjumpa drg kazen2ku, drg Edok, Titih, Susi, Emih, Nunah. Lama udah ku nda nampak drg sejak2 ku kaja atu. Drg tagur badanku makin kurus. Entah la labu~ Bagiku cam biasa ja. I don't know why. Berabis lagi drg tagur tu, dari awal ku di sana sampai ku balek ani wh memajal nagur sal badanku especially c dyg Edok.. Aha3.. Cemana jua ulah, aku mkn mcm biasa, manada ku bdiet. Kuat mkn kli ah aku ni, jgn liat bdn kurus. Mun sdh andang badanku catu~ Nda juaku dpt buat apa2 kli ah. Hahah.. Siuk la jua ceta2 sma drg, batah2 nda jumpa atu.

Pahami sendiri apa maksudnya..

Hidup ini complicated

Today I felt so suck.. Frankly, I don't give a damn!! Wahahah~ Nada la.. Bangun pagi tadi, after bsiap2, sudah tia kana marah2i leh my mom. I don't know why but me & my mom, we got issue.. Aha3.. Sak x eh! Pagiku dimulakan dengan kehampaan. Then, mau nda mau, utk mendepend myself, I had to fight her back. Aku nda mau wh kn melawan indung ani bnrnya, nda berkat wh. Tapi kan~ Mun sdh cematu, mcm terpaksa taya~ *sigh*. N what makes it even more suck, aku feel bad after yelling at my mom cz I was so mad. Huhuhu~ T_T Aku nda mau cematu~ Lps ku beredar dari rumah tadi pagi, suddenly I felt so down sal aku buat mamaku cematu. I regret for what I did to her.. ='(

Then, masa keraja tadi. I tried my best sdh to do the work perfectly but still, in my boss's eyes, aku still buat slh. I admit it tapi ndakn ia nda fhm2 yg aku ani masih baru2an~ Ndakn tarus2 perfect kale~ She was angry at me. For the second time, I felt down berabis.

Ani for the 3rd time. Psl me & my boyfie. I don't know why, for me, ia yg slh. Then for him, aku yg slh. So, bila nda betamu pikiran atu, jadilah kelaie~ He said I don't have a sense of humor. That is due to something la tu. Then, sdhnya ia mrh atu, ia nda brapa layan aku la. Sampai ia buat2 rh status ani wh. For a gf, rasa mcm kana stab jua tu kn. Again, aku kecewa~

This is the 4th time for today. Congratulation~ Psl urg2 yg dekat/rapat denganku. They claimed that they 'love' me but the fact is, drg makin menjauhi aku n I feel abandoned. Ah sodah laa~ Konon kwn, tapi buat aku cemani.. I don't need that kind of close friend. It's time for me to terminate them from my 'close friend' list. Yg sudah berlalu tu, biar tia. It's time for me to forget them. I hate to do this to my 'close friends' tapi aku terpaksa. Nh, atu yg buat aku sedih lagi cos nda lagi rapat. I do love them sincerely. =s Klu drg slh anggap, ndath ku tau tu..

Ok, atu saja. Pacah dh rekod tu hampa bkali2 dlm sehari..

Love nowadays

Hari ani banyak urg frust tmasuk aku & adikku.. Biasa la,kalau dlm cinta2 ani,jrg kn nda frust.. Adikku lagi sandi, gfnya duakn ia.. Hoho~ Aku pernah mengalami tu cana rasanya kana duakn, dulu la.. Rasanya? Cam kn gila! Aha3.. Yata aku wondering what happen to love nowadays..? Sdh hilang ka cinta sejati tu? Now, aku kesiankn adikku sal ia mcm frust menonggeng.. Fhm bnr2 ku cana rasanya tu.. Hmmm~nda tau laaa.. Love love love,complicated jua bnr~